Sunday, March 11, 2007
just ignore the words that are to come.so, you're blaming us for everything. you say its our fault, so you don't turn up. you make terrible comments behind our backs and expect some dramatic change. if not, you just won't show up. everything is just our fault. cos we're young. oh but hey look, its not all our fault. true we might not be the best of the best, but WE DIDN'T SAY THAT WE WANTED IT, and neither did we say that we DIDN'T WANT IT. we just given the task, so we have to do it right? it isn't our fault that we are in this position, did we say so? i don't remember. i don't even mind doing what we first started out, doing simple jobs. and guess who gave us the task for handling that. its not us. i'm not asking you to blame it all on one person, but aren't you all a bit too unfair? if you think we suck, then give us suggestions! we would gladly take it. but no you don't. and so what can we do? NOTHING. just doing what we can do best. if i had all the time in the world that maybe it will be better. but no i've got other commitments. i'm not saying that i don't want the commitment. but there's something called time management. i have to spilt everything evenly. so, who's fault is it now? i have no idea. why in the world did all these have to happen. its all falling apart. you're just shattering us. now that isn't very good is it?
so you call me immature, young, not good enough, 18YEARS OLD HAHAHA. well, thats what you think. and thats all you can do. you don't even offer to help us, neither do you & all these, is what YOU think.
i've never felt so shattered for a really long time. & betrayed. urgh. someone cheer me up. :( Lord i need your help badly, i need to hear You. what to do now? i really don't know. its not like we are in any position to do anything. ahhhhh. its like seeing everything happen before you but you can't do anything. you want to reach but you just can't.
i wanna be a changemaker.. somehow with His grace. & i really need advice now. i can't just go on like that.
anyway, i'm happy and relieved that there's handbells tml. AND meeting with jasmine, cheryl, cassie and charis! :) and many more activites this week which revolves around school. somehow if i didn't have all these activities, i'll be really bored at home and i would hardly get anything done heee. i need school! i know this is weird but i love school. cept for the lessons hahaha.
don't you know, don't you know, how much i miss you both?
sometimes on sunday when we have sunday lunch, and i stare at my extended family, i wonder how it all ended up like this. a curse they would say, and i have nothing to say. sometimes i seriously feel i've lost my respect for you, i've given up trying. but i shouldn't, simply because you're my elder. but then, do you all have something called values? haha okay maybe i shouldn't say too much :) shhhh.
oooh this has been a pretty emo post. so ignore it. OH WAIT no don't ignore the next part! :D here's a few msgs to people here and there =)
charis: get well soooon its no nice to be sick! keeep smiling! :D
lipin(k): hahaa you're in thailand already. so no point saying have a safe flight there. but i can say come back to singapore ALIVE! :D
jieyi: be enthu about drill hahaha i can imagine how sian it can be sometimes :P afterall, i AM in GB heheheh
monica: hahaa i know you have been depressed and if you still are, CHEER UPP there's always something to be happy and laughy about! :D
the uh fashion consultant?!: YOU ARE SO WEIRD TSKTSKTSK!
now you don't need to know who the last person is >.< [edit] here's a pretty song. somehow, it always manages to speak to me. esp when i feeel so insecure. maybe it will for you too? the tune is really nice too :) Trust His Heart
All things work for our good
though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
and you just can't see Him,
Remember He's still on the throne.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
trust His heart.
He sees the Master plan.
He holds the future in His hands.
So don't live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
but He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry,
He's weaving you and me
to someday be just like Him.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you dont understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
trust His heart.
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